What I Lost With You (ABANDONED)
by aloneinmymindwithghosts
Summary: Avri's back. And she's getting to know the Avengers. It's interesting to her, to be semi-involved, and of course it's great that they're back together. But then a new threat comes up. One that might tear them apart again. And this threat... it's targeting her and Peter. On top of all that, she still has school and a new relationship she wants to build upon. I only own my OC.
1. Just Try To Listen

_Tis a sequel. Here's the prologue, I have no idea when updates are coming._

* * *

**00| Just Try To Listen**

"_Joseph?"_

"Hey, man. What's up?"

"_I'm not going to drag you into this."_

"Wait, what?"

"_I can't do it."_

"Why not?"

"_I've got to keep you safe."_

"It's not a big deal-"

"_But it is. You've got a family now. I can't risk that."_

"I want to help you."

"_We can still have contact. But you're not getting involved."_

"What if there's something I can do?"

"_You aren't doing it."_

"But-"

"_No. I'm not letting you."_

"What if you get yourself in trouble?"

"_Then I'll figure it out, but I'm not getting you into this. Not again."_

"..."

"_We can talk tomorrow."_

"Wait-"

"_Good night."_

* * *

"What is it, Hill?"

"The girl, Psych."

"What about her?"

"Her identity?"

"Does anyone besides you, me, and the Avengers know who Spider-Man really is?"

"Happy, his aunt, his friends-"

"Okay, okay. I get it. But does anyone else involved in S.H.I.E.L.D. know?"

"No, sir."

"Exactly."

"You're trying to protect her."

"She's young."

"She needs protection."

"We thought the same about Parker."

"Are we going to provide it?"

"Are we known for that?"

"No."

"So are we giving her protection?"

"No, Director. But I thought she needs it."

"She does."

"I'm not quite sure what you mean."

"She has her own protection."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

"Wanda."

"Yes?"

"Hey, uh. I was wondering…"

"What is it?"

"Well, we've got a new friend."

"And by friend you mean…?"

"Ally. Superhero. Person with abilities that does good things."

And?"

"I want you to help her."

"What do you mean by help?"

"A mentorship, maybe?"

"I'm not old enough to be a mentor."

"But I think you can help her a little."

"In what ways?"

"She has some very similar abilities to you. Telepathy, telekinesis, mental manipulation, that kind of stuff."

"But what do you want me to _do?"_

"Get to know her. Then we'll talk again."


	2. I Can't Sleep At Night

_congratulations, you get slightly longer chapters. there's no plan after this so you're going to have to be patient. enjoy!_

* * *

**01 | I Can't Sleep At Night**

Insomnia was normal for people like Avri Hill.

She could hear her roommate's steady breathing, a soft in and out that quietly swept through the dark room, ending at the ray of moonlight that shone onto the floor and jumped onto Avri's bed, illuminating the girl that sat there. Her hair shone, almost seeming to glow at the ends while her teal eyes seemed sharp as steel in the silver light.

She hadn't slept since Kenric died, the shadows under her eyes starting to look like light bruises. Avri didn't know what was keeping her going at this point, but whatever it was prevented her from closing her eyes for more than two seconds, a way to avoid seeing it all again. It was as if the scene was imprinted behind her eyelids.

Sleeping minds were strange. The thoughts moved too fast to properly grasp them, but sometimes Avri would be able to make out parts of it. Like Jeslyn's dream. In real life, dreams only lasted a few seconds but they play out in our minds for much longer. Avri sifted through them, getting into one for a second before it ended, new memories playing into the next one.

Avri blinked, fiddling with her fingers. It was late, way too late. Or maybe it was early. A quick glance at the clock confirmed it was just past one in the morning.

She wanted to sleep.

But clearly, that wasn't happening. At least not today.

Against her better judgement, Avri suited up, marveling in the small details of the suit. It was lightweight, baggy, and stretchy, perfect for her type of patrol. She smiled a bit as she put it on, the pale blue trim lighting softly as it activated.

There wasn't much in the way of technology, which Avri was fine with. She didn't need anything super fancy, she just had to get the job done. That was all it was about. Getting the job done, helping those who couldn't help themselves.

Hopefully this would help clear her mind.

She was still tired as she leaned against the wall before opening the window. Her room was only on the second floor, so it wasn't too much to jump out, carefully making sure that no one was near, and lock the window using her telekinesis from the outside.

Dew shone on the grass, cool and wet against her feet. Though the material was waterproof, that didn't stop the chill from creeping in. She ran across, jumping off the curb and floating over to a rooftop. Already the night air was taking effect, waking her up just enough for her to notice that something was happening a block away.

The normal flash of precognition hadn't come with it, but she simply shrugged it off and blamed it on exhaustion. Sleep would be really good, but she couldn't go back now. She'd only started, only just gotten out.

Leaping off the rooftop and boosting her jump wasn't hard, and the familiar thrill of it ran through her veins. A small smile stretched across her lips as she narrowed her eyes, picking out where it was from. Only two more blocks.

"Please, just leave me alone," a man said. Avri could hear the sound of a blow, hear the man falling. "I'll give you what you want, just please, stop."

Avri jumped down, landing lightly in front of them. _Yes, please stop._

"Who the hell- wait. I know you. You're that Sick girl or something," the mugger said, a sneer plastered on his face.

_Psych, actually. That's a nice knife you have there. Mind if I take it?_ The knife flew out of his hand, and Avri caught it as it came towards her. _That's better._

"What did you do?" he asked, looking from his hand to her. The other man was still behind her, unsure of what was happening.

_The better question is, what were you going to do to this nice man right here? _Avri thought, projecting it again into his mind.

"What do you think?" he asks in response. "Mug him, obviously."

Avri shook her head. _You really need his money? This is a nice knife, I don't know why you would need to buy another._

The man growled, lunging forward in quick steps that Avri moved away from, his fist inches from her face. She was still slow, sluggish, body weighed down by the exhaustion that was still settled into her bones like stone.

He stepped forward again, catching Avri with a punch with his left fist, hitting her right next to the eye. She yelped, holding him back with her telekinesis- _right,_ she could do that- and pinned his arms behind his back. He was struggling against it but she held, deciding to try something new. She slipped into his mind, feeling it around her instead of just having bits of it slip into her own, and closed his eyes.

He passed out, falling limp in her telekinetic grasp.

Her eyes widened. She could do that? That was just a test, her powers weren't supposed to be that strong. They'd been the same way since the accident, they couldn't be getting stronger. No way.

Unless they were developing.

She cast the thought from her mind, instead focusing on the task at hand.

"-call the police?"

Avri shook her head. "What? Yes, please." She instantly realized her mistake, hoping that he wouldn't pick up on it. She rarely spoke on patrol, preferring to thought project.

Thankfully, the other man didn't notice. He simply nodded and dialed 911, explaining the incident. "Yeah, I'm with Psych right now. She saved me, the guy's knocked out. Okay, yes. Thank you." He looked back towards her. "They'll be here in two minutes."

Avri nodded, tenderly tracing her fingers along the place where the man had punched her. The punch must have been harder than she thought as the skin was swelling. It pulsed with pain as she did so, pulling her fingers away.

_Great. Only one so far, and I'm already swelling. _She sighed internally, tapping her fingers against her thigh as she waited patiently, listening to the cars go by.

"So, um… how long have you been doing… you know, this?" the man said, motioning to her suit.

She shrugged. _Give or take about three years._

He nodded. "Cool. That's… great." He blew out a breath. "You don't ever regret it?"

Avri smiled a bit. _Sometimes. But it's all worth it._

"It better be," he said as the sirens drew closer, the lights illuminating his face. "Maybe I'll… see you around."

Avri shrugged again, heading up to one of the rooftops. Even after all that time, she still didn't like police cars. Didn't like being around them, hated the way their lights danced in her vision now.

She stepped away as the car parked, taking a few deep breaths. She knew that tonight was going to be sleepless, as usual. And New York still wasn't quiet, exactly.

_Just try._

* * *

There was no way MJ liked Avri.

They'd barely interacted, the first real one at lunch when Peter had revealed that her uncle was dead. That was a lot of weight for someone to carry around, especially when no one else _knew._ She could tell that it wasn't information Avri was interested in sharing, but god. How long would she be able to carry that around? Who even knew about it?

She sighed, trying to block out the noise from outside. Some type of fight, something going on, working on another drawing. This one was of Ned, a previously done sketch that she wanted to complete. MJ smiled a little bit at the memory. Ned's face had been priceless when Peter-

"Michelle?" Her mom's voice broke her out of her thoughts, and she hurried to hide her sketchbook under a math worksheet. "I'm home, and I have some food if you want it."

"I already ate leftovers," she said, looking up as her mom entered the room.

"Oh," she said, standing behind MJ's chair. "Sorry."

She only shrugged. "It's fine. How was work?"

"It was okay. How was school?" she asked in return, putting her bag down on a chair and taking her hair out of its bun.

"It was school," MJ said.

"Wait, why are you even still awake? It's one twenty-six in the morning," her mom said. MJ blinked in surprise, it was that late?

"Sorry, I didn't realize," she mumbled, putting her things into her backpack for tomorrow. MJ managed to slip her sketchbook in with the rest of her stuff, successfully hiding it from her mom. Her mom planted a kiss on the top of her head, hugging MJ for a second.

"Get some sleep. Tomorrow's Friday, so you'll get a little break then," she whispered. MJ nodded, head pressed against her mom's chest.

"Love you," MJ said, closing her eyes.

"I love you too," her mom said, hugging her closer for a second. MJ gave her a tired smile as she went down the hall to her room, turning on the lamp and falling onto her bed.

The sounds of fighting still hadn't died down.

MJ could hear a pained cry, ringing out softly as if the person didn't want to be heard. She got up, pushing her curtains to the side to look.

Psych was cornered, surrounded by three other men, all armed with something, most likely knives. _What's she trying to do, kill herself?_ MJ thought as she watched, worried. There wasn't anything she could do, her windows were locked and had been for the past two months, accidentally painted shut. All she could do was look on, concern furrowing her brow. She didn't want to see anyone get hurt tonight.

The knives suddenly slammed into the wall around Psych's head as she fought against them, sweeping one off his feet in a clumsy motion, clearly too weakened or too tired to fight. "Come on, Psych. Keep it together," she whispered, watching her throw a punch at one of the others, not even touching him but somehow he still ended up on the ground.

_Right. She has telekinesis._

MJ saw Psych struggle to stand upright, her stance held the best she could. _Shit, she's going to collapse any second,_ she realized. "You've got to get out of there, just leave, go home…" she muttered.

As if Psych had heard her, she leapt up, landing messily on a rooftop, limbs sprawled out as she blinked slowly. Psych stayed like that for a minute or two before heaving herself to her feet, heavily jumping across the rooftops until she disappeared.

_Good, now just get home, get to bed, sleep._

_It's what's best for you._

"Michelle, turn off the light," her mom said, the beep of their microwave playing through the air. "Go to bed."

"Okay, okay," MJ said, closing the curtains again. "Night."

"Good night, sweetie."

She rolled her eyes at the nickname, changing into a nightshirt and sweatpants before turning off the light and falling into a dreamless sleep.

She still didn't like Avri. Not in that way.

There was no way.

You can't fall in love with someone you've just met.

Love wasn't instant. It wasn't like instant ramen, where you just add water and seasoning to the noodles and warm it up and it's done. Love needed time to boil, to cook and grow into everything it needed to be.

_Or can it?_

_And why is my analogy so weird?_


	3. No Sign Of Stopping

_*tiredly stumbles into room* i'm backkkkkkk..._

* * *

**02 | No Sign Of Stopping**

She was way too aware of Jeslyn's presence as she cleaned herself up, enhanced senses zeroing in on the other girl, noticing every movement she made, ready for her to wake up and catch Avri.

A bright smear of color stood out on her cheekbone, spreading to surround her eye. It was already a dark purple, the swelling keeping it almost shut. How hard did he hit her? She winced as she touched it, feeling the lump. Hopefully it would go down a little before tomorrow- today- this morning.

Avri took a paper towel, wetting it and wiping away any blood on her face, which wasn't much, thankfully. She just needed to get into some loose clothing, it felt like the suit was tightening around her and she couldn't wear it anymore, she couldn't.

She changed into black wide-leg pants and a T-shirt and light gray sweatshirt, pulling the hood over her head and sitting down against a wall. This was okay. This was better.

She checked the time. One forty-seven.

Her patrol hadn't lasted that long. Less than an hour, less than forty-five minutes. She'd still done too much in her exhausted state and actuallly needed to sleep. MJ's words played through her head as she sat down, taking in a small, shuddering breath. _Good, now just get home, get to bed, sleep._ _It's what's best for you._

Avri moved to lie down and pulled the blanket up, already feeling the tears fall at the thought of going back into her nightmares. She didn't want to dive into them, relive it all over for the first time because god only knew how bad it was going to be but-

Her eyes slipped closed.

_The Avengers stood across from each other, Tony glaring at Steve. Tony's Iron Man armor was littered with punctures, including a deep slash right over where the light from his arc reactor was dimming. The helmet was completely gone and he had a black eye, blood trailing from his lip and smudged around his eyebrow. There was a hint of fear in his eyes, like he didn't know what was coming. Didn't know what Steve was going to do._

_The blond's shield was in Tony's hand, scratches from the panther claws trailing down it. Steve had blood on his cheek, his lip, and right under his eye. He was shaking slightly, but he was still standing in front of Bucky, fists up as he panted. Bucky had blood seeping into his beard, spreading almost to his eye. He looked exhausted as well, his metal arm missing, wires dangling from the stump. The sight hurt to look at and Avri tried to tear her eyes away, but something told her to keep looking. _

_Natasha stood in the middle, her hand on her Glock 22 as she held it up. She was aiming right at Avri's head, her fingers tensed to fire. But her eyes were flickering back and forth, arms ready to pull the gun to them in an instant. The thought of it made Avri's heart beat just a little bit faster._

_Peter stood firmly on Tony's side, a cut on his torso still sluggishly bleeding. His mask was torn, one of the eyes out and the bottom near the left of his chin missing. But he was still standing next to Tony, eyes narrowed in anger, muscles tense and ready to attack, or run._

_Sam was behind Steve, his pack destroyed with one wings dragging crookedly on the ground. His goggles were still on though, hiding the sadness and locking it away. Wanda was next to him, ignoring her tears, magic prepared to fire at anyone. Her teeth were gritted as she stared at Tony with a look Avri couldn't even describe. Scott was standing behind all of them, regularly sized, looking confused and worried as he glanced from face to face.._

_Rhodey was right next to Tony, armor powered up and a dangerously harsh light coming out of the eyes on his face mask as he snapped it closed Vision stood behind him, the mind stone on his head already burning as he started to fire an energy beam. Clint had an arrow pointed at the other side, his target unclear as he looked at Natasha with torn eyes. T'Challa's sights were right on Bucky, glaring at him with complete hatred. _

_It scared her._

_Was this what Avri had missed? Was this the battle that had killed any sense of a team that the Avengers had? Was this the battle that had torn them to pieces and forced half of them into hiding? Avri didn't know. She hadn't been in New York when it happened, busy picking up the pieces of her life and preparing to leave it behind as her uncle talked over the phone about moving to a real estate agent. She'd squeezed her eyes shut and hoped that something would work out for once._

_The gun went off._

_And suddenly it was everything Avri had expected to be in her nightmares. Kenric, laying on the ground, his breath hissing out between his teeth. She could hear Peter webbing the shooter to the wall again, and this time everything was put into crystal clear detail. The panic on Kenric's face and then the relief as Avri filtered into his vision as tears stained both their faces._

"_Please," she begged silently, pressing her hands over the shot, not caring that her hands were turning red and that the blood was still flowing over them. "Stay. Please stay." Her tears dripped onto his collar as he smiled at her, reaching a hand up. She grasped it, clutching onto it like she was the one dying, his blood transferring. "Avri."_

"_I'm here," she whispered, voice shaking as she heard Peter talking to Tony. _

_He took in a labored breath. "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough, you hear me? I'm so proud of you." _

"_No, Kenric, there's something… we have to do something please don't close your eyes Kenric wake up please please please stay…" _

_Sobs wracked her body as she cried without sound, hugging his lifeless body and trying not to let it grow cold. _

_Because cold meant empty._

_Cold meant alone._

_Cold meant lost._

_Cold meant hopeless._

_Cold meant _dead_._

* * *

MJ glanced nervously towards her mom's room, worried the noise would wake her up. Not that it was loud, but that's how it worked when you were doing things you weren't supposed to. She dragged the knife across the window as fast as she could, feeling the paint separate under it. She tested the window quickly, making sure it opened before going back to the kitchen and putting the knife away, rushing back to her room as she heard her mom's alarm go off and pretending to be asleep. It _was_ only six thirty, and her mom left for work at seven, usually around when MJ woke up.

So she had half an hour to kill. She pulled her sketchbook out of her bag and went back to drawing Ned, adding the small details of shading, which could be one of the most tedious things but 100% worth it. _Why the heck are noses so weird._

They were probably the weirdest part of the face to draw. They just kind of looked like ytrsoufhghte until you added shading, which was when they actually looked like noses. It really made a person think about what the world would look like without shadows and wonder how different it would all be.

She sighed a little, leaning back against her pillows. Her room was different than one might expect. It was a pale blue with the same color fairy lights strung across the wall near the ceiling. All her furniture was white, the bed pushed into a corner next to her window. There was a small shelf above it that she used to hold her sketchbook or books before she went to bed. It was surprisingly pretty compared to what people might have thought it was, such as all black with posters proclaiming how death was near. But no. A soft pastel blue color with a knit gray blanket and a corkboard with pictures of her dad, mom, and friends, soft lighting and cotton ball clouds hanging on the walls and a jar of roses on the desk. There was only one negative thing on it, where the fairly lights met and wrote out, '_i'm a mess of unfinished thoughts'_.

She quietly put on headphones as she listened to her mother shuffle around their apartment, making a quick breakfast for herself before going to get dressed. _Faded _started playing as she continued to sketch and MJ closed her eyes, allowing herself to get caught up in the music for a moment. It was truly amazing, she found, the power that music had over people.

The apartment door opened and closed, and MJ pulled herself out of bed, headphones still on as she put her sketchbook aside. Time to start another day.


	4. AN: Abandoned Work

hey guys. i'm sure you can tell that i haven't been working on this for a long time, and to be honest, looking back at this series it was definitely not the greatest. _what i found in you _isn't good, at all. like, it's literal trash.

i'm burned out on this series. i had so many ideas in the beginning but now it's just... skasjfdkljd. so i'm going to abandon this. i'm so sorry to anyone who was enjoying this, i did have a prequel planned out as well, and i don't want to do this i just have no more ideas or motivations to write for this. i'm including a sort of timeline of events for this as i did have things planned out. again, i'm so sorry and thanks for all the support.

essentially, what was supposed to happen was obviously bonding between avri and the avengers, a new supervillain with erebokinesis who kind of just completely screwed avri up. since he can control shadows, he also has the ability to kind of manipulate the darkness inside people, to an extent. i wasn't quite sure where it would end up but he messes with avri's mind a crap ton and makes her distance herself as much as she can because his shadows are also making her powers grow out of control. through it all, mj is suspicious and is trying to help her and peter and the avengers are concerned but no one really knows what's happening, since her first encounter with the villain kind of ended with him making her lose consciousness so she doesn't remember it all too well (he planted a shadow in her). once they figure out that her powers are growing the avengers are like, 'oh shoot we have to suppress her powers somehow' and try their best to help avri control them, but then the erebokinesis guy comes to the tower. he fights them all at once and keeps darkening the room with shadows, even making them build up and become thick around the avengers so there's more resistance in the air. since they're in the training room, it's really big and hard to get to anywhere in there, and he has a little 'chat' with avri. natasha gets behind him and knocks him out, so they keep him captive until shield can get there but he disappears. natasha checks in with avri, makes sure she's okay, but avri ends up disassociating from the conversation and peter has to call the foster shelter place where she's living to tell her she's with him for a study session and might spend the night. it's all fine, she wakes up in medical and seems okay except for a headache, and continues on like normal. however, the shadow inside of her is still growing and is wrapping around her powers as well. the avengers decide it's best to put her on lockdown until they can figure out how to control her. the next and final encounter with the villain happens two days later and mj and ned keep bugging peter about everything until he attacks their _school _and the avengers are called in. this means that avri's left alone in the tower, and since mr. erebokinesis person is using his powers so much the shadows that he's using are calling to the one in her, and she breaks out. avri ends up between the villain and the avengers, and uses her ridiculously strong powers to defeat him, absorbing his powers with her own. however, the quantity of his powers mixed with hers is dangerous and she almost kills everyone. avri instead holds it all back, kind of accidentally burning herself alive and collapsing on the floor. the avengers and peter (obviously as spider-man) take her back to the tower where she's still alive but in a coma, so it takes a few days for her to wake up. when she does, she immediately starts apologizing and everyone is telling her that it's okay, that she's okay, and then tony asks her if she can still use her powers. she frowns, since she can't hear his thoughts anymore, nothing's happening, but avri focuses and she can. she tells them that she thinks it's actually only on command anymore, that the shadow did something but that it's good and she's okay, and it ends with her going back to school (sort of, since it's damaged from the fight but they just dfskjlsgkl around it. mj asks her out and avri's tentative but says yes, and it just ends with that.

the prequel basically would have had her relationship with her brother and how close she was to him. it would detail how her autism affected her earlier on before she started masking more, and would also show the crash when her parents and brother died. i was planning to include how she had to adjust to her powers alone, and with no support, and i wanted it to end right before she gets in the car with her aunt when she died.

i hope you're okay and accepting of this decision and that my ramble of the plot wasn't too annoying. again. i'm so so sorry about this but i really just can't write for it anymore.

love you all so much


End file.
